Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize