I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
