New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
