It's just like the Real World with babies
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
