I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
