So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
im on a boat
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