Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
