He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We got so high we made milksteak
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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