There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
