so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize