Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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