the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
