its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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