he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
