Tell her she can't have a vagina
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
