i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize