I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
