i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
