Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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