Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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