Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
bring money and cleavage
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
