Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
