Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm passing your future prison.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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