Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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