I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize