Just cropdusted the office
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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