Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
