Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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