Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
