We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
