What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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