I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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