you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize