this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He felt like a one man threesome
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
