so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
