Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
