I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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