So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
