well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
