just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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