i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
