I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
