Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
