We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Watching her eat just hurts me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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