I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
thus making me awesome and them whores
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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