Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
