why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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