The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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