Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
