Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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