he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
