do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
