she was so not down for the gang bang
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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