I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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