I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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