I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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