Did you just see the Batmobile???
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
