she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
